


Desperado

by embermagick



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Archive Warning for Canon Deaths, Depression, F/F, F/M, Final Fantasy XIV: Shadowbringers Spoilers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Polyamorous Characters, Will Add More Later, gender is weird and azem is genderfluid, i didn't tag all the relationships inside the convocation of love bc im not strong enough, wol is cis fem
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-16 02:40:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29693766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/embermagick/pseuds/embermagick
Summary: She was whole.She was whole and healthy and not a single shard missing from her soul.She wanted to see all of them again, to laugh at a creation that both Altima and Emet-Selch were fretting over and the silent mischief behind Igeyorhm’s eyes. To love all of them and be loved in return, to travel with each of them separately, feeling lucky to even pull them from their prospective offices.She wanted life to thrive, to watch them reach to the stars beyond, and love so passionately that it would rival their own. To see them build towering spirals and to live longer than they think should be possible- to create with their own hands, to eventually learn how to mold magic enough to mimic the creation magic of eld.
Relationships: Altima/Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Ascians/Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Azem/Emet-Selch (Final Fantasy XIV), Convocation of Fourteen Poly (Final Fantasy XIV), Emet-Selch/Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Lahabrea/Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Y'shtola Rhul/Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV)
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> a little note here for starting !
> 
> I've gone ahead and given both Elidibus and Lahabrea actual names -
> 
> Lahabrea is Prometheus
> 
> Elidibus is Nemesis

She was whole.

She was whole and healthy and not a single shard missing from her soul.

The shock, the recognition, lasted for only a few seconds before her vision was consumed with tears, sound not reaching her ears as she screamed and curled in herself. She had killed them- her friends, her family, her loved ones. They were dead and she was never going to see them again.

Never again to see Hades or Prometheus, or even Nemesis, so young in his role of sacrifice. It hurt so bad, even her sundering never hurt so bad. It hurt so much, she couldn’t hear the door opening, nor feel her head being moved into someone’s lap and comforting words that wouldn’t reach.

She could’ve been screaming for hours or seconds, her time was so muddled. The only thing that changed, was the presence of another, holding and hugging her, a vibration coming from them in order to soothe her. When her voice grew sore and tears dry, she only then grew silent, listening to the gentle reaffirmations and the vibrations she could now recognize as purring. Only, the reaffirmations were not what she expected- no it’ll be fine or you’re okay. They- she recognized them to be Y’shtola, and her soul warmed at that she came running- were simply muttering i know over and over while rubbing her back.

She knew. Of course she did, logically, her soul becoming whole would make her aether explode immensely, yet logic wasn’t in the front of Azem’s brain, and so new tears sprang forth. Not for her lost convocation members- oh how she’d weep for them again any second now- but for those sundered souls, complete people with love and ideals.

  
  


_ Altima once said she cared too much right after helping her on one of her many travels, with a smile on her face and ruffling Azem’s hair. “ I wouldn’t have you any other way though, Azem. Change and i’ll come kick your ass personally. “ _

  
  


Her tears were quiet now, accompanied only gentle hiccups, her arms tightening around the Miqo’te. She felt so many emotions curl in her gut, conflicting at every step. 

She wanted to see all of them again, to laugh at a creation that both Altima and Emet-Selch were fretting over and the silent mischief behind Igeyorhm’s eyes. To love all of them and be loved in return, to travel with each of them separately, feeling lucky to even pull them from their prospective offices. 

She wanted life to thrive, to watch them reach to the stars beyond, and love so passionately that it would rival their own. To see them build towering spirals and to live longer than they think should be possible- to create with their own hands, to eventually learn how to mold magic enough to mimic the creation magic of eld. 

She wanted to retire, go into oblivion with her family, and she wanted to live, to be Azem. It hurt, how she desired all of it, and she wouldn’t be able to have it all. She could find their shades in the Tempest, but it wouldn’t be them. It would be so close, though, she could imagine herself easily imprinting her knowledge of them into Hades’s work and losing centuries down there to be in their visages.

Perhaps she would, in a thousand years or two. For now, in the arms of a woman that she still loved, no matter if her soul had become complete, memories and experiences and ancient creation filling her marrow. But now, in the Rising Stones, listening to the purring of an Archon, they found themselves closing their eyes and relaxing, being so easily smoothed towards sleep. Before sleep could take Azem, though, she made sure to mutter a confession, one of many, “ I love you. “ to her companion, to which she only received a snort and kiss on her forehead before the last words she heard was, “ I know. “


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Names recap!
> 
> Lahabrea: Prometheus.
> 
> Elidibus: Nemesis.
> 
> Altima: Thanatos.

They were speaking about her- about this… development, to quote the very careful words of Alphinaud. They most likely didn’t realize she had awoken, or even heard them, yet she could, each word as if she was in the room itself so long as she wished to hear the words.

It was a valid concern, of her being unsundered, and what that meant. She still retained the body of her last reincarnation, and felt so much of what she did, and yet it was different. She was always dangerous, the infamous Warrior of Light, yet now it was worse. If she wanted to, or truly felt it the better option, she could join the sundered Ascians and work towards the rejoining.

The thought of what would become of everything and what would return if Azem decided such, was scarcely in her head before she removed herself from her bed and wrapped a robe tightly around her before exiting the room deemed the Warrior’s, and following their voices to the room they were sat in.

Y’shtola must’ve seen her aether moving towards here, with how she was already looking over and smiling gently before, “ The woman of the hour is here at last. Perhaps our talks will amount to something, now. “ Relief flooded her bones, that all hadn’t changed so drastically that they’d bar her from the discussion, despite it being about her.

It was everything she could do to sit down and not let her memories take her captive. Looking down at the table in front of them, their eyebrows furrowed until a voice rang out. Krile’s. “ She’s right. Your aether.. “

They closed their eyes and sighed before nodding, opening her eyes to look at them all. “ I do not have an exact explanation for how I have become.. complete. “ That was the wrong word choice, so clear in the discomfort in so many eyes and adverted gazes. Complete and whole. Like how the Ascians want. Letting that train of thought shatter, she continued to speak, “ Only theories, of which are only half baked, but I must say this, less you all think me different. “

Getting up from her seat, she looked towards them, and she could’ve sworn she was in Amaurot again, “ I may be whole, like Emet-Selch and Elidibus, “ They thought to mention Lahabrea, but decided against it, as that would make things so much worse, “ however I do not, nor ever will take the mantle of Ascian. I’m still me, just more. “

She was strong and tall and so, so weak. Just speaking their titles made their heart weaken and tears gather in their eyes. It was only a moment she had to blink before they consumed her vision. She was the last unsundered. She would never see another of her people again, not whole, and would never get to embrace those she loves in the way that was natural to her. To them.

Her vision broke through the tears at someone bolting to her and hugging her. No, she was initially wrong, it was two people. The twins. They seemed like they were crying too, words muddled by the stuttering tears, “ We’d never betray you by thinking like that, “ was spoken by Alphinaud, only to be interrupted by his sister, desperate to get her words in over his. “ Or I wouldn’t. Even if you did, I would join you or drag you back to the rational side. “

Even more reasons to cry. To fall to their knees, holding the elezens so tightly that they must’ve hurt a little from it. Yet, they didn’t complain, most likely to the fact that they didn’t want her to let them go or think that they didn’t appreciate her. Be it the Warrior of Light or the Ancient or some sort of amalgamation of both, they wouldn’t leave her side.

Azem didn’t know how long she just sat there, feeling all of her hurt and their hurt too. Only that she was the one to sit back on her heels to wipe her tears away only to see them mirror her. Smiling a broken thing, she listened as each Scion left her with words and missions that barely reached her ears. She was happy and sad and broken and whole. Preparations, she could only assume what they were going off to do.

She was going to go mourn, instead. All of the way to Azys Lla, to Prometheus’s grave.

  
  


.

.

.

  
  
  


_ Azem’s favorite part of returning to Amaurot was being able to give the gifts that they had painstakingly planned for and seeing their loves again. Spanning from little trinkets to recreating creations they had found, it was wonderful to watch their eyes light up in wonder and curiosity. _

_ Which was the sole purpose for them now waiting outside of the Akademia Anyder, excitement buzzing through their aether, not to mention utilizing their creation magic always left them wanting to create more and more, to aid in their fellow Amaurotine.  _

_ It was the sound of a squeak that pulled Azem from their thoughts, watching as the animated ember flare up in what one would perceive as joy before bursting into pure aether as another knocked into the first. A grin erupted upon their face, joy sparking in their eyes hidden behind their mask. Unless they caught the attention of a stray student, their plan had worked. As if to answer their internal question, a figure quickly followed behind another ember, so fervent in following that a few golden locks had fallen from his hood. _

_ Azem’s smile widened further, barely being able to cover their mouth before a soft laugh left them. “ Ah, our esteemed Lahabrea, I was worried you might’ve been too busy to even notice them. “ They spoke once they were in his gaze, hands still clasped in front of them. “ Aren’t they wonderful? I found them when I was searching for an out of control creature, they helped me both find it and return to civilization, unharmed! “ Joy vibrated in their voice, so much that they missed the heartwarming smile upon the Professor’s lips. _

_ “ They are quite wonderful, and fascinating besides. Must be a natural occurring thing, and to be so you cannot get lost, an incredible creation. “ Azem’s gaze moved to his hands, which were now cupped to hold one of the ember like beings, thumb ever so gently pressing against it’s form.  _

_ “ It’s called a wisp by the locals! I figured you’d like them the most, and I dare say I was right! “ Closing their eyes, they nodded to themselves, completely self-satisfied with their declaration. The only thing breaking it was him humming and, “ Yes, dear Azem, you are right. Thank you for thinking of me, as I feel indebted now to find something just as suitable for you. But before then, “ Cutting himself off smoothly, Azem didn’t have a chance to address the flush of their cheeks before watching him take off his mask and theirs in one swoop, leaning down ever so slightly to kiss them, whom was now startled and blushing. _

_ “ Ah, you don’t have to find something, ‘Theus.. “ They started before being interrupted by their mask being placed back on and having his hand linger on their cheek and fall down the side of their neck before moving away, replacing his as he shook his head. “ You can’t honestly expect to give us gifts and get nothing in return, my dear. Now, I have a small break in classes, I’d love to spend it with our recently returned Traveler, if I am allowed. “ _

_ Smile returned to their face, they shook their head, “ As if you have to ask. I haven’t eaten yet, matter of fact. “ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lahabrea might not have a grave but i'd make him one if I could
> 
> find me on twitter at @_unboundwolf to scream about ff14 or just to vibe!

**Author's Note:**

> no idea where i'm going with this but got brainworms about poly convocation and it wouldn't leave me alone
> 
> find me at @_unboundwolf on twitter!


End file.
